Are we born gifted? Or can we become gifted through the right environment and teaching?
If you know me personally, you know my journey to motherhood wasn’t easy. In fact, I was told by multiple doctors that I would never be able to have children. At one point, I was advised to get a hysterectomy before the age of 28. For someone like me (an A-type personality who had mapped out her life goals before college) this was devastating.
My plan had always been to have kids before 30, not just because of the biological clock thing, but because I wanted to still be active, happy, healthy, and able to keep up with my kids when they went off to college. I wanted the energy to climb mountains with them (or at least dance at their weddings without my knees giving out). The story of the heartbreak could fill a whole separate post. But today, I want to tell you what happened after the miracle.
When I found out I was pregnant, it sent me down a rabbit hole of research that I never climbed out of. If I was going to be lucky enough to have this child, I was determined to do everything in my power to raise the happiest, smartest, kindest, most self-motivated, growth-minded human being possible.
Yes, I was on a mission to build the perfect human (LOL). And in my A-type fashion, I researched. And researched. And researched some more.
Nurture vs. Nature: The Giftedness Debate
The more I read, the more I realized something that totally flipped the script on how I viewed learning and talent: nurture beats nature every time.
Sure, some kids are born with natural gifts. But did you know that more than 80% of gifted children actually fail to reach their potential without the right support? Many gifted students struggle emotionally, burn out, or simply check out of school altogether because their needs aren't being met. Research indicates that gifted students are at risk of developing unfavorable motivational patterns, especially when their learning environments aren't optimally challenging .
I came to a bold conclusion:
Even if my child wasn’t born gifted, I was going to nurture her into becoming gifted anyway.
Giftedness, I realized, is not just about IQ. It’s about how you learn. It’s about curiosity, resilience, problem-solving, and emotional grit. And guess what? Those are all teachable skills.
Building a Program for the Gifted (and the Yet-to-be-Gifted)
When I started Motherly Notes, I didn’t set out to create just another Mandarin program. I built it following research.
- A program that doesn’t assume giftedness is fixed.
- A program that believes all kids can learn fast if you give them the right tools.
- A program that respects the kid who learns differently, whether that’s because they’re ADHD, on the spectrum, neurodivergent, twice-exceptional, or simply curious.
I didn’t know it back then, but I was designing a program for the exact type of kids who now fill our classrooms. Our recent internal data showed that over 70% of the students in our program are either gifted, neurodivergent, ADHD, or twice-exceptional.
No wonder the methods worked.
Our recent internal data showed that over 70% of the students in our program are either gifted, neurodivergent, ADHD, or twice-exceptional.
No wonder the methods worked.
- 100+ Survey, 4/2025
Why It Works: The Research Behind Our Approach
Here’s the thing: gifted and neurodivergent kids are often misunderstood. They may hyperfocus on one thing and then melt down when something feels “too hard.” They may seem disorganized, perfectionistic, or frustrated when they don’t get something right on the first try.
The typical reaction? Adults pull back or go in deeper than they should. Or they water things down. Or worse, they assume the child is being lazy.
But research shows the opposite is needed. Gifted and neurodivergent kids thrive when:
- They’re challenged at the right level (not too hard, not too easy—just right).
- They have agency and choice over their learning (competence + autonomy = motivation).
- They feel emotionally safe and seen (relationship-based teaching matters).
- They get explicit coaching on how to handle frustration and failure.
This is exactly what we do at Motherly Notes. We train our teachers not just on the language content, but on how to teach motivation, mindset, and emotional regulation.
We help our students memorize 500 characters a year (10 times the standard pace), but more importantly, we teach them how to believe they can.
And yes, sometimes, it’s the parents we have to convince first.
Dear Parents: Trust the Process (Even When It’s Hard to Watch)
Parents often come to us in two camps:
- The “I’m not sure my child can handle this” camp,
- The “Can you cram even more into my kid’s schedule?” camp.
Both come from love. But here’s the truth:
Kids can handle more than you think… if you do it the right way.
But pushing too hard, too fast, without intrinsic motivation? That’s how kids burn out.
Especially for gifted and neurodivergent kids, it’s a delicate balance. If your child tends to give up when things get hard, that’s not because they’re not capable. It’s often because they haven’t been taught how to ride through discomfort yet.
This is where we come in.
- We don’t just teach Chinese.
- We teach kids how to learn anything.
Captivating
Capable
Confidence
Curious
Charisma
Character
The Real Gift: Teaching Kids They're Capable
Whether your child was born with "gifted" written on their forehead or not, I believe every child deserves the chance to feel like they can achieve great things. And it’s not magic. It’s intentional. It’s evidence-based.
It’s what we do every day at Motherly Notes.
I’m more excited than ever to keep pushing this mission forward.
Because gifted isn’t just a label.
It’s a mindset.